Reconnecting with each other: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), combined with proven methods from cognitive behavioural therapy – in English or German.
Request a first session Learn moreRelationships don't run on autopilot. When the same arguments keep coming back or closeness slips away, an outside perspective can help – not to assign blame, but to understand the pattern you share.
EFT, developed by Sue Johnson, sees couple conflict as an expression of unmet attachment needs. Together we uncover what lies beneath anger and withdrawal.
Practical tools for everyday life: communication and problem-solving skills, handling escalation, and small changes that make a real difference.
Instead of asking "who started it?", we ask: which cycle has a hold on both of you? The cycle is the problem – not either one of you.
Sessions are available in English or German – including for international couples who speak different languages at home.
Couples come with very different concerns. Some examples:
The same discussions over and over, escalating or going nowhere.
Living side by side rather than together; the closeness has faded.
Finding solid ground again after an affair or a deep hurt.
Becoming parents, relocating, career changes, illness – when roles shift.
Different needs, fading desire, difficulty talking about it.
Working out together whether and how to continue – a respectful separation can also be a goal.
Please note: couples therapy is not the right setting while there is ongoing physical violence in the relationship. In that case, safety and individual support come first – feel free to contact me and I will help you find the right support.
(the first sessions)
You each share your view of the relationship, the current difficulties and what you hope to gain from therapy.
Usually followed by one individual session each, to better understand both partners' personal history and attachment experiences.
We describe your conflict cycle and agree on goals. You can then decide whether the "chemistry is right".
Recognising and naming the negative cycle together. Conflicts lose their sharpness.
Showing more vulnerable feelings and needs and being heard by your partner – new moments of bonding emerge.
Resolving old issues from a new sense of security and anchoring the progress in everyday life.
Couples sessions are extended appointments, usually every two to three weeks – leaving time to try new things in everyday life.
Couples therapy is not covered by German statutory health insurance and is billed privately. I'm happy to tell you the current fees on request.
Everything discussed in sessions is subject to professional confidentiality.
Couples therapy sessions can be held in English or German.
Licensed Psychotherapist
Clinical Psychologist
"Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
– Rainer Maria Rilke –
As a licensed psychological psychotherapist specialising in cognitive behavioural therapy, I combine Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with effective behavioural methods in my work with couples.
Personally, I'm married and a father of two. More about the practice: www.benlemme.de
Please use the form to request a first appointment.